I am just tired.
Like, not in the “go-get-more-sleep-and-you’ll-feel-better” way but in the “I-just-need-a-minute-to-breathe” kind of way.
It feels like my schedule has been on hyperdrive for the last year or so and every time there’s a promise of a slowing down, something inevitably sucks me back into the vortex of the never-ending blackhole of an incredibly full calendar.
Last week was an example of that. I had a ticket to a conference in Atlanta that was going to take me out of the normal bustle of life for two whole days and I was thrilled. Until I realized that last week was pretty much the worst time ever to go do anything other than dive into the current projects at work and at home. But I really felt like I couldn’t bypass this opportunity so I meticulously scheduled our little family to make sure that someone would remember to drop off and pick up our son from preschool and that my boys would have something to eat while I was gone. On paper, that schedule and plan looked really, really good.
Until my husband’s work schedule blew up, our sitter had a conflict, the house was a wreck, and Mount Socksmore erupted.
It all worked out in the end and so off I went with two friends to Atlanta for the IF:Gathering Lab.
While there, Jesus had a “Come to
Jesus Me” Meeting with me. As I listened to each of the Lab leaders share their hearts for women, for leaders, and for Christ I noticed something:
They were all battling it, too.
Fear, Unrelastic Expectations, Restlessness, Pressure, Busyness, Comparison, Envy, Inadequacy.
There’s no algorithim in the world that will answer these questions and quiet these voices. And I think it’s going to take more than us just looking at each other with our “Bless Your Heart” face and saying some Christianese quote that we pinned on our “Inspiration” Boards on Pinterest. It’s going to take a boldness that can only be found when we focus completely, intently, and passionately on the One who breathed our life and passions into us.
We have to stop playing Church and go be the Church. That’s going to mean different things for each one of us, it’s going to mean reigniting a passion or saying ‘yes’ to something scary or something that looks impossible. It means getting uncomfortable and sharing a table and a conversation with someone who doesn’t see the world the way you see it. It means you have to live your faith out while you talk it about it, too.
It’s the nitty-gritty, messy stuff of loving the women around you well. It means loving her well even when she doesn’t live up the expectations that you have for her and it means picking her up when she falls flat on her face. It means teaching our daughters to default to grace instead of judgement. It means spending time in prayer to fix yourself instead of using that time to fix everyone else.
We are half of the Church, loves. Let’s be the half that changes the way the world sees our Jesus.
There’s a group of us who are feeling a little restless and finding a boldness that we never knew we had for the women around us so we’re walking in obedience (check us out here). We hope you’ll join us in February for IF:Gathering — a two day livestream conference event for the women in our community (those who love Jesus and those who just haven’t really met Him yet). You can register and save your seat here for $1 (or more, it’s up to you. All proceeds from tickets will go to support the national IF:Gathering ministry). This is not just for our SMC women, it’s for anyone you know who desires to live out her calling for the glory of the King. It’s beautiful. Don’t miss it!